read an article on today's newpapers
excessive daytime sleepiness is a sign of depression & diabetes
i've been really sleepy this year
& all along i suspect that i am suffering from mild depression
so am i or am i not suffering from depression?

just read mong's blog
mong cheer up bah =D
i cant put myself in ur shoes
but i noe's it's tough on u & ur family
things will be fine
ur friends will galdly be ur listening ears

talk about mood swings
i'm guilty of that too
with all that doubts flooding my brain
i just can neither think nor act right
& in the end get all my messages delivered wrongly
suddenly i realised that i was living in a big lie
my heart was shattered
yet i could find no one to confide in
in the past
i always had this number that i could dial
be it just plain boring or had some deep talks to share
i could always pick up the phone
& she would be on the other end listening
spending hours on the phone with her wasn't uncommon
yes, it's all in the past
so many years passed
& i still remembered her number
yes, i've been missing her again
thank god i've lost the only photo we took together
or esle i would spend the whole day just looking at it
reminsing about our past
i guess beside the incident which soured our friendship
there's another one which left a deep impression in my head
that time u cried because of me
honestly u shocked me when u broke into tears like that
u knew i was playing hard to get
u knew i was playing
yet u did ur all to please me
why did u do dat?
u were so foolish
that time i was immature
& didn't understand why u cried
now i understand
it's because u treat me as ur friend
an important friend
i've never told u this
& i doubt u'll ever read this
you are important to me as well even until now
i've forgotten the day
when i lost all hopes in reconciling with you
i had neither courage nor energy to build our friendship again
the memories u gave me's enuf to last a lifetime

that lesson u taught me
made me build walls around my heart
not allowing anyone to go near it
now that i realsied that i do fear loneliness
& wants to get out of my own world
i find myself trapped in the maze i built
everytime i find myself getting too close to someone
i will just stop myself
& scurry back to the start of my maze
how i long to get of this maze