I said no matter how hard it is to stifle the cries I'll do it but I failed to do so. I'm hating the way I'm behaving now it's like I'm turning into a crybaby altogether. But I seriously can't help it. I feel like crying every single moment now. Every time I get agitated or frustrated now, I just can't control my tear ducts any more. I don't expect sympathy or anything from others but the least I can ask of you all is to not make any groundless assumptions. I would be thankful enough already.

Thank you teachers & friends who have been giving me support & encouragement throughout these days. I'm still hanging on because of all of you but I seriously don't know how long I can hold out for.

The week before my birthday I finally sorted my thinking out & decided to pick myself up from there seriously & i succeeded but I didn't expect this to happen. The questions which I have cast aside awhile ago are haunting me.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if humans are really one of the most intelligent animals around. Over the centuries we humans have been trying to conquer & surpass though we have made significant improvements in our lifestyles but our problems have been escalating & new problems are created as well. Perphaps other animals are the more intelligent ones because they understand that life only lasts for a split second & one can't bring whatever one has when one has to leave. Or perphas nothing ever belongs to us including our physical self. Maybe there are no answers to my questions. Maybe humans aren't born to search for any answers but it's because of our own stubborness that has cause us to suffer.

I guess all these these thoughts are redundant for it is impossible for us humans to lead lives of a beast like eons before. When our thoughts & emotions weren't so complicated.

After all that has happened, I've learnt that we humans aren't as invincible as we thought ourselves to be. We can only do our best & accept.

Choice is only an illusion that we humans are in charge of our own lives.